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The Testimonial of Emetophobia Clinic client Natalie Giocondo
When I was 23 years old I packed up all of my belongs (at least all those that would fit into some overstuffed suitcases) and with my 9 month old baby girl in arms got on a plane and moved 1200 miles away from my hometown. I left behind everything I knew to be safe. My hope was that I would find this Self that I new existed inside of me, and the freedom I knew I wanted but could never seem to attain. It was a long trip both geographicly and emotionally. Shortly after landing in my flamingo paradise I realized that even though the climate, the faces, and the places had changed, everyday life still felt the same.
It sounds confusing, but really it is very simple. It did not take me long to get right back into my well rehearsed rut, overtaken by the constant fear of vomitting that is Emetophobia.
I decided to: 1) Never eat seafood at a restaurant, hardly ever chicken, and red meat only in the form of steak and only if it was mostly burnt-Ecoli, Psaumanilla, Tomaine all food born illnesses there are many more that the average person has never even heard of. 2) Keep my baby away from sick people as much as possible, including any form of daycare or socialization-Roto virus, Norwalk virus both highly contagious and nasty stomach illnesses consistently carried by children.
No matter where I moved to; no matter which of the multiple long term relationships I was in; no matter what position I held at any of the number of jobs I had, my perpetual portable phobic prison was still the same: Emetophobia.
My weight went down, my diet consisted only of those foods that never caused illness from consumption. My hands had blotches from bleaching my kitchen counter tops, and just about every part of the bathroom. Friendships were nearly impossible to maintain I was fairly exhausted from my little anti-vomiting rituals. Intimacy was even more difficult: "He wanted to put his germ infested mouth where?" I would think to myself. Suprisingly enough, to the outside world, I was perfectly normal. The only people who really knew were my parents and my husband.
Emetophobics are afraid of vomiting or of being present while others are vomiting and obsessed with what actually happens when someone vomits. While researching my secret topic online I ran accross a website under the search engine Vomit FAQ. It was as if heaven opened up, the light came from the sky to surround me and the angels sang. Vomit FAQ had been written by a doctor who was also an emetophobic (kudos to him for making it through medical school). I was not alone, I was not crazy. If my little secret had a name that meant it may also have a cure? This thought had never even crossed my mind. I began trying to get into online support groups and discussions about emetophobia and was surprised to find that not only was I alone, but there were thousands of people who had the same phobia as myself. I was even able to make contact with the person who wrote the Vomit FAQ page and ask him if there was in fact a cure. His answer was that no difinitive cure had been found.
The heavenly lights were sucked back up into the sky and the angelic voices turned into the chirping violins that swell up in a horror movie just before the main guy gets attacked by monsters. As I quested for more information I was told that not only was thier no cure but that emetophobics usually get progressively worse as time goes by. Worse? How could it get any worse? Would I be eating just fresh bread and bottled water? Perhaps I would stop going out in public altogether (instead of just when I heard a stomach virus was going around)? My daughter would be home schooled so she would not be exposed to the bad germs?
I noticed that movies with vomiting were harder to watch, and the websites I visited for emetophobia used alternative words for the deed. I am not using those words now because I now feel fine about vomiting. If you are reading this testimony, you are already well on your way to making the first right choice in a long line of right choices to follow.
One day while re-reading an Emetophobia FAQ page for the billionth time I noticed an online advertisement for The Phobia Clinic. Wow, the possibility that I could quickly learn to solve this myself instead of undergoing years of therapy was one to be considered. But who finds the answers to their nearly life long ailment on the internet? I later found the answer to that question is someone brave enough to TRY SOMETHING NEW.
The Phobia Clinic website had an 800 number listed that I was hesitant to call, so I asked my husband to do it. If anyone can recognize whether an organization is trustworthy and who they say they are it is my husband. After an hour's conversation with one of the Phobia Clinics' specialists my husband called me and told me to call them for myself. Deciding to make that initial call was the most difficult part of the entire process. I bombard poor Rex with questions like, "You are not going to make me vomit at the end of the session to prove I am cured, are you?" (of course the answer was no), and, "Is this hypnosis?" (again the answer was no). After some background questions and some very enjoyable conversation, I made the decision: set up an appointment.
The Saturday of my appointment came quickly. My husband took my daughter out for the morning, and I awaited the 3 hour phone conversation that would change my life. I was pleasantly suprised by the schedule of events. In a nutshell everything we did was light and easy. Nothing was traumatic and by the end of the session I said to myself "Make the right decision right now and you are going to eliminate emetophobia from your life."
Since that day I have felt more in control of my life than I have ever felt before. I finally met that strong, self-assured woman I knew I really was. I am relaxed and relieved. I am exactly where I have always wanted to be. Now that the Emetophobia is gone my mind has opened and pointed me in other directions, other places that I have decided to work on for growth. This process really affected my entire life and I am forever greatful for the powerful knowledge I was taught and am applying in my life on a daily basis.
I am reaching out to all of those who are struggling with the decision to change thier lives and be released from the bondage of fear. I implore the other emetophobics out there to understand: You will overcome emetophobia when you decide that now is the time to get the help you need. My heart goes out to you and the losses you experienced on a daily basis while being controlled by a force that seems greater than you. But its not an outside force you can't control, its just a consistent pattern of thinking: you can change it now.
I am not an actress, I am not paid to write or say anything. I have no reason to sell any clinic, person or organization to anyone. I am a stay at home mother and wife... and a woman who has made the choice to be healthy, happy and FREE. You deserve the same.
Natalie Howie Giocondo
Click here for The Phobia Clinic: the team that helped Natalie overcome Emetophobia
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